_-=being_a_grownup=-_ my take anyway___==

I just pray that God is on my side, because I don’t know how to do this alone. I feel like the first two decades my parents were raising me and now I have to raise myself. I’ve never raised anyone before, but I have a feeling its going take a lot of tough love and I’ll have to say no to myself, when I don’t want to. I will have to also give to myself more than I used to. I really have to start taking care of myself and I’m going to have to stand up for myself and hold my own head up when it wants to droop low and face the floor. I’ll have to start helping and caring for myself as a mother would a growing child. I have to be sweet to myself and gentle, not like before. I can no longer be ruthless with myself because I am now officially my own owner.

I’m not sure if I was overprotected back then because I rarely thought of treating myself with careful consideration. I would ignore my parents’ suggestions if I didn’t feel like they were fun. Now I am doing the very things my parents used tell me to. Its funny how the definition of fun changes too, what used to be fun now becomes a choice, a decision... a mandatory one! Life doesn’t become a bore because of the chasm of choices, since at the moment the choices are still new. I get a sense of control from the opportunity to make a choice. Besides, when the options get too familiar there are mounts of adventure and bewilderment at my disposal and adult convenience. The only admonition is safety. Part of being your owner is also being your own protector.

The term ‘adult’ not only comes with high heels, romance, breasts, caffeine and mascara, but with deadlines, fines, hangovers, drama, heart-break and bills. Ahh... and what about the wisdom, maturity, refinement and realisation? Well, it’s a huge wake up call but unfortunately those qualities do not come naturally they are earned. It was like walking straight into a street light in the desert when I first realised this. It sucks, but it’s true, I guess that’s why there are adults who live recklessly in an aura of selfishness filing for bankruptcy while still charging everything to their credit cards and committing other unwise deeds.

I don’t know if one can ever prepare for adulthood, but here is a recipe for a prayer:

(To those of you, not yet adult but no longer children and to the rest of us still learning)

· Beams of knowledge

· Chunks of Faith

· Sprinkles of self discipline

· Pockets full of practicality

· A portion understanding

· A semi-permeable and elastic heart

· Scraps of patience

· Scoops of perseverance

YOUR ROLE, YOUR PLATFORM, YOUR LIFE FOR THE TAKING

I’ve been one to behave beneath myself in the past, as a black woman it saddens me to see other black women still doing so. I see black women barely wearing clothes and changing men like the do their knickers. I’m sure its feasible in a club, but I pity women who chose to live a lifestyle of the imaginary and have empty social lives.

I meet young black men who believe their lives are better in the hands of the street than they are in an educational institution.

I just want to remind us all of where we came from, we as a black people have endured much in terms of history, we are a lineage of Africans who lost out due to slavery. At one time in history we did not have a choice, we did not have the opportunity, we did not have the privilege to do the things and be the people we can be today.

I just want to remind the young people that before they venture out to another day of deliberate destitution that your time is NOW. You NOW have the choice to be the respectable people you deserve to be. For some of you who even have the opportunities to educate yourselves free of charge or under the expense of someone else I urge you to take it, own it because this may be the only chance you ever have.

Let us remember and honour our ancestors and let them truly rest in peace by knowing that their: toil, hopelessness, struggles, beatings, slaughtered dreams and all the injustices that they went through were not in vain because young black people today appreciate and acknowledge and honour their opportunities and responsibilities.

Claim it. Claim your role as that emancipated and empowered young black person that you are today.