My adolescence in writing comes to a close

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thank you for letting me share with you and for taking the time to read through it all.

IMPERFECT

I tried, but could not do it.

I stuttered, stumbled

And sometimes mumbled.

Feeling ashamed and so foolish

I hid.

Rying, screaming

And pouting like a kid.

I open my eyes

Only to realise…

I have failed.

I’ve failed you/

I’ve failed myself

I’ve failed everyone too.

I stutter, mumble

Titter, tumble

Stumble, tremble

And finally…

Crumble.

I try again,

I could not do it.

I stuttered stumbled

And sometimes mumbled.

I open my eyes,

To realise

I’m not a failure

Not at all.

It is ok to run,

Its ok to hide.

Its ALL OK because I tried.

I hope in you I can confide.

I’ll tell you a secret…

I’m not perfect

Not always correct, not always the best…

But it’s ok.

- This piece entirely speaks to the place I am now, one of my mentors and favourite motivational speakers, Eric Thomas, speaks of the three stages in life, which are: getting out of a storm, going through the storm and just getting into a storm. Yet he also speaks about rising above, rising above the clouds… so that even when a storm arises you are above the clouds and unable to be affected. In this journey we all outgrow certain phases, it doesn’t mean these things don’t exist anymore we have just outgrown them. I believe that there will always be some form of pain or discomfort or at least the threat of it throughout our lives, but the trick to being and being successful is to outgrow the pain, where the obstacle has not been destroyed, but where a new realisation has been birthed.

High school was not a pretty picture, but I sure am glad that my adolescent years are OVER! All the pressure of wanting to desperately fit in and please everyone was daunting and it took its toll on me. As I grow older I find myself growing more tolerant to the balance of my own imperfections and my ability and willingness to strive to be better (although I am pretty close to perfect!.. …. …. and that lame insert-of – joke just proved otherwise).

THE FIRST ARCHIVES- A poetic journey into and through adolescence

The good old days

The good old days

when friends were friends.

They would let us be,

Just us there.

Conquerers of the carpark.

Our source of energy,

Is that of a lighted cigarette.

There is mischief in the air

It grows heavy too.

We girls know what we got to do.

We pick a fight with some skinny boys,

Our little fighting toys.

Soon enough…

We retire

We retreat home as ou former selves.

“The good girls”.

The good girls- the good old days.

When friends were friends

Just us three,

The TKT.

- I ’m really not sure what TKT stands for anymore, but this short piece definitely describes the misguided part of my adolescence and the larger part of it too.

THE FIRST ARCHIVES- A poetic journey into and through adolescence By: Charlotte Makala

I had always wanted to write my own autobiography ever since I read the Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen Mah, almost a decade ago. I wanted to document my life just like her, putting all my life experiences in print. Living as an African girl in the Middle East for all of my life, I knew I must have had something to offer the publishing realm. I didn’t quite know what, at the time… but I have had an experience or two since then.

I always thought of myself as somewhat dumb through primary school and in my early years I was painfully shy. Suddenly, in grade six and I became a class clown. It was good to be the center of attention for a change yet the realisation that I was different came into full apprehension a short while after. I took to writing as a source of release and out poured: confusion, observation, pain, love and infatuation.

These literary jewels where stowed away in a little green book that I recently stumbled upon. I have chosen to share my pieces with you. Infused is a short commentary, my response to the piece, either elaborating or just giving feedback as my 22 year old self.

This is my adolescence.